Sunday, March 25, 2018

Find the Gift in Every Trial!!

2012 was easily, one of the worst years of my life. That's right, a whole year. Everything seemed to be falling apart.

My dad had a heart attack and his health was rapidly declining, we were barely staying above water with bills and keeping food on the table. My parents were fighting, my siblings isolated because they had no money. I can't tell you anything more heartbreaking than watching the ones you love suffer and not be able to do anything about it.

Selfishly, my biggest blow was when my fiance at the time cheated on me with multiple people. Not just hook-up's, full-blown relationships. And I couldn't just leave, even after playing detective and finding infidelity after infidelity. Finally, he left me. As the severely codependent fiance, I was utterly devastated.

With all these things happening to me, I couldn't get out of bed. Depression and anxiety absorbed my life. I went between bouts of panic attacks about my father dying, and then sleeping for days at a time. I cursed God and threw things and asked why he was doing this to me.

I still don't know all the answers, but I can say that I have seen how I have grown through the trial of that year. I would have never broken off my unhealthy relationship on my own. I needed to be left and rejected in order to eventually begrudgingly accept a date offer to a wonderful, supportive man who is now my future husband. My family learned to reach out for help and rely on others and on God.

I share all this with you, because I want to say: Sometimes when things seem to be falling apart they may actually be falling into place. I didn't know all the good that would follow my dreadful year of 2012. I have numerous blessings and joys that I never would have recognized had I not gone through that rocky year. So if you're going through your own tribulation, hang in there. It won't last forever.

A friend




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